When you know you need to stop walking around things and finally get your home in order, you should totally take up tap dancing. 100% recommend.

Not because you need something else to do. Gawd, you absolutely do not need one more thing on your giant calendar of grown up responsibilities. Please.

And not because you need something fun to put on in your schedule. You’ve got the gym for that. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.  


You need to learn to tap dance because then you can learn how to tap dance to Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.

And that will teach you everything you need to know about decluttering, which is this:

💃🏻 You have to be deliberate in your actions.  

You can't just let your feet flail about. Each tap is intentional. With purpose.   

Same when you’re making decisions about your stuff. You’re actively choosing the things that belong in your home and your life. You’re being intentional about what makes your life easier and better and possible. And what doesn’t.  

You’re not flailing about. Because flailing is how you get stuck in indecision now and end up second guessing yourself later. 

You’re being thoughtful and intelligent and deliberate. You’re choosing what you want in your life. On purpose. This is how you stop functioning in Hard Mode and start feeling good in your own house again.


💃🏻 You cannot get it all perfect in one day.

You are not professional tap dancer Gregory Hines and you can’t learn a whole dance in a day. If you try to learn the whole thing, you won’t be able to do any of it. It’s better to learn it in sections. Break it down as small as you need to. Learn one bit at a time. And then move on to the next.

Today you focus on your mug shelf. Next time, focus on your glasses. Or your plates. Or the drawer full of takeaway soy sauces.


💃🏻 Some bits will be easier than others.  

Enjoy those sections. Seriously. It’s OK to have actual fun while you’re dancing. And decluttering. I promise. 


💃🏻 The hard parts will get easier.

The “Why is this so freakin’ hard” up-up-down-down-out-out-in-in part of Uptown Funk? That gets easier the more you do it. Your brain and your feet will start to learn the pattern. 

It’s the same with decluttering. I don’t know why deciding what to do with those crappy plastic hangers causes your brain to temporarily malfunction, but I do know this: 

Once you start running decisions through the same filter every time—“Does this item make my life function on a random Tuesday?” “Is this item something that makes my life easier or more enjoyable?” “Is this something I’m actually using to do something I actually want to do?” —everything gets simpler.

Decision making gets easier. Faster. Calmer. Way less dramatic. Because your brain learns what matters to you. And what doesn’t.


💃🏻 Keep going even when you're bored. 

Picking through crusty band-aids and cotton balls and pulling random bobby pins out of the goo that smells like raspberry shower gel while sorting out the cabinet under your bathroom sink may not be as exciting as that last treadmill sprint at Orange Theory. But it must be done. 


💃🏻 Keep going even when you're confused.  

Don’t let Where did all these bobby pins come from? sidetrack you. And when you’re not sure what to do next? Do something. Objects in motion and all that.


💃🏻 Go slow if you have to. Go fast when you can.    


💃🏻 Remember that this isn’t a chore. It isn’t something on your to-do list that you’re crossing off.  

You’re dancing taking back your space. Be happy about that. Laugh at what's ridiculous. Clap for what you did that's awesome. Enjoy doing this weird thing that nobody else you know is doing. Because …


💃🏻 When you've done it, it's a pretty awesome feeling to be able to say you did it. 


💃🏻Get yourself a pair of tap shoes.  

You can learn the basic steps without them. But if you're tap dancing, you want to hear the taps.  

One way to “hear the taps” when you’re decluttering is to take a before picture of whatever space or micro-zone you’re working on. I personally am terrible about doing this because I just want to get in there and go to work. But please take a picture of your space before you start working on it. I’m not kidding.  

You think you won’t forget what it looked like before, but you absolutely will. And I don’t want you to miss out on the awe.
 


The other way you miss out on the awe? By never starting in the first place.

None of this works if you’re waiting until you have some time to do this.
None of this works if you’re waiting until things slow down a little.
None of this works if you’re waiting for the perfect day.

“I’ll do it when I have time” is a Big Fat Lie.

But it’s a great story that we all tell ourselves because it sounds so responsible. Mature, even. Like you’re being very reasonable about your calendar and your adulting and your obligations.

But what it really means is: The life I want to be living isn’t as important as literally anything that yells louder than I do. I can keep coming last.

Except you can’t.  


Because here’s what’s happening when your home doesn’t work: the easiest things start feeling weirdly hard. You can’t find the right lipstick. You wrestle your suitcase past the vacuum cleaner. You spend a fortune buying more batteries. You waste your brain power on nonsense.

And after enough of that, an exhausted section of your grey matter circuitry starts whispering in the background:

Maybe I’m not as capable as I look out there in the world.

Oof.

I call crap on that. 


Here’s the thing about time.

You do have it. You just have to take it. 

You have to say, out loud: This is important. I am important. I shouldn’t have to fight for space in my own home.

And then you have to act like you meant it.

Not by taking two weeks of vacation and emptying your entire house onto the floor like you’re filming a reality show called "Who Will Cry First."  (Although honestly? If you want to do that, I am totally on board and will bring the snacks.)

But by taking the time you actually have.

4 hours on a Saturday morning.
45 minutes on a Tuesday night.
One 10-minute version of “All Too Well.” 


Because if “I’ll do it when I have time” were true, you’d feel fine. But you don’t. 

This isn’t about waiting for your calendar to clear. Because it’s not really a time problem.

Somewhere along the line, we learned that we had to earn ease. That peace was a luxury item. That space was for people who “have it together.” That we’d get to feel calm after we’d handled everything and everyone else.

*cue the chorus of “Eldest Daughter.”

You get to want your home to work.
You get to want your space to feel kind.
You get to make room for yourself without explaining why.
You get to keep your kickboxing at the gym.



Your friend whose foot somehow requires a men's size 12 tap dancing shoe (not even kidding),
Vivian

PS.  If you're like...OK, I'm on it, Viv.  But uhm ... I can not for the life of me figure out where to actually, physically start.  You need to grab my free Decluttering Starter Kit.  It's a Cosmo-Style Quiz for the woman (or man) who can crush it at work, but is totally bombarded by the toilet paper falling on her head when she tries to get her laundry detergent out of the closet.  And is tired of buying fresh underthings.

You're 5 minutes away from your first quick decluttering win.